Winter blues

So winter is here and so are the winter blues, I suffer from this really badly sometimes as do a lot of people so I thought I would share with you how I cope and handle those days when you just don’t feel like doing anything.

  1. Get dressed. I know it sounds dumb but you got dressed, you aren’t sat in the same PJs you’ve been wearing for a week straight.
  2. Recognise your achievements. Today I told someone I did nothing but then I realised that I went shopping, read a book and wrote 2 blog posts so I did do stuff, it may not have been a lot of stuff but I still did it and I am proud that I did.
  3. Make sure you are practising basic hygiene. Again sounds obvious but it’s really easy to miss out so make sure you wash off last night’s makeup, use a nice lil face mask and wash your hair. You will so much better.
  4. Organise what you need for the next day, you will feel so much better the next day when you aren’t rushing around.
  5. E A T. and I mean a meal with substance, not a snack. It will give you the energy you need, a car needs petrol to function and you need food to function.
  6. Go outside. Even if it’s just to the local shop, the daylight hours are getting shorter and many doctors say this contributes to SAD (seasonal affective depression) so go outside and get some of that sweet sweet vit D whilst it lasts.

Sometimes you don’t even realise that you are feeling this low until it’s pointed out to you, I had no idea how bad I was until a therapist at my university said: “what you are describing is depression.” I really just thought I was a bit overstressed and it was getting to me.

If you are feeling this way please know that it won’t last forever, it’s ok to feel to not be ok all the time. Nobody feels 100% happy all day every day and sometimes you just have to spend a day crying it out. You are loved. Reach out to people and tell them how you are feeling because they will help, you can’t always do it on your own and again that’s fine. The winter blues have been kicking my arse the last few weeks but I have made sure to tell the people close to me so that they are aware of what’s going on, this is one of the best things you can do because then you have a support system and those people can help you get through the rabbit hole and come out the other side! You are not a burden to anyone and you are so so loved. Always remember that you are not alone.

 

This will be my last post until the new year so have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. I hope 2019 becomes the best year of your life!

A sucky love story; A review

Yesterday I purchased, read and finished Brittani Louise Taylor’s book; ‘A sucky love story’ I laughed, I cried and fell in love with it so much that I feel like I have to talk about it to you guys. I’m not going to go into the details of the book as it’s something you need to see for yourself.

This book is a story of overcoming and leaving an abusive situation when I first heard her announce the release of the book I never ever thought it would be what it is, it’s a story of lies and deceit so deep that it sounds like something from a movie, something that doesn’t happen to people in real life but Brittani shows us that it does. I also never thought I would laugh but Brittani has the mindset of why cry when you can laugh which is a mindset that I also share because it’s true, why sit and cry when you can laugh it off? I know what you’re thinking “how do you find light in something so awful?” but sometimes that’s how you have to cope.

Brittani shows that anyone can fall for an abuser, she also shows us that love makes you blind and stupid BUT she also shows that you can come out the other side stronger and smarter, that these things do not define the rest of your life. This book is so important because it shows that you can survive these situations, that it can happen to anyone and it can even show people warning signs to look out for, people may read this book and think “this is what I’m going through” and it may give them the courage to leave. I urge everyone to go and read Brittani’s story and spread it as far as they can, her story deserves to be heard. What I love most about Brittani is her never-ending optimism, she still believes in love and that there’s still good in people which takes true strength, she kept going and survived and it truly is an inspiring read so please go take a few hours out of your day to go and read it. Another thing I find really important about this story is that it shoes that abuse isn’t always physical sometimes its verbal, finacial or emotional but doesn’t make the abuse any less valid and I feel like that’s something that isn’t spoken about enough.

a-sucky-love-story-9781642930009_hrIf you or anyone you know is going through ANYTHING like this please leave. Please tell everyone you know what is happening and go and find help, you have so much more support than you realise. You are loved. You are important. Please tell somebody.

 

5 things I learnt in 2018

2018 has been brutal.
Absolutely brutal.
I have learnt so many lessons this year, lessons about myself, who I am and what I deserve and I am taking all of those lessons with me into the new year.
Here are 5 lessons I have learnt in 2018;

  1. Nothing changes if you don’t do anything. “Just because you find that life’s not fair it Doesn’t mean that you just have to grin and bear it. If you always take it on the chin and wear it nothing will change!” – Matilda the musical. This year I sat and looked at my life and wondered why nothing was getting better until I realised that I wasn’t doing anything to change what was happening. So in 2019 I am going to start making those changes instead of just waiting for a miracle.
  2. People change and sometimes they don’t but that’s not up to me. Sometimes when people change it’s for the better and you can see the positivity of their new self flowing and it’s inspiring to see but sometimes people don’t change, even if you really hoped things would be different. I have learnt that I cannot make that change for them. Everyone is different and you can’t decide what a person needs for them, they have to figure it out on their own.
  3. To do what I want without needing validation. This is something I am still working on, I am terrible at making decisions that aren’t backed up by 20 different people but I have gotten better so I will take this into the new year with me, I will do the things that make ME happy without worrying what others will think and I will stop not doing things because I know someone else won’t like it. (basically to not be a complete people pleaser all the time).
  4. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you aren’t ok. This year I suffered from anxiety which I came to terms with quite quickly because it was quite obvious to myself and everyone around me but I really struggled admitting that I was depressed and i’m still not entirely sure why. I didn’t want to go and talk about my depression, I was just anxious but after going to counselling I realised that sometimes you just have to admit that you aren’t coping as well as you thought you were and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  5. Your support system is the most important thing. I have the greatest support system in the world, my siblings, dad and friends are the biggest reason that I got through this year. I have made some mistakes this year, really stupid mistakes, I did things that looking back I should have known better, but never once did they leave. They picked me up and dusted me off everytime i fell. Make sure you have people in your life who care about you, who will accept the fact you wont take all of their advice but will still help you pick up the pieces after. Thank you to everyone who helped me this year. You saved me, I promise to start actually taking your advice! Thank you to my best friend Molly who has stood by me throughout this entire shitshow.

These are 5 things that i have learnt this year and that I will be taking into 2019 with me because they are so important and if I ever feel like I can’t do it, I will come and look at this post to remind myself what matters. I hope 2019 is your year and that you accomplish everything you didn’t manage to this year. Make 2019 a year to remember.

Why change is so important to me

I am a big believer that any change in life, no matter how small can make you feel completely differently about a situation. Change can even provide a new perspective on a situation, it can make you look at it from an outside perspective instead of living within the issue constantly, it gives you a chance to stand back and look at the bigger picture.

Every time a significant event happens in my life I change something about myself, whether it be changing my room around, dying my hair for the millionth time or getting a new tattoo or piercing I make sure I change something to mark the event so that I don’t forget it. These changes serve as a constant reminder of what I have overcome or achieved in my life. When I got into university I got a tattoo of a pinky promise, now that tattoo is not the best (don’t book a tattoo on the spot kids, wait a bit) but every time I look at it I remember how excited I was when I got that confirmation email. Now, not all the changes in my life have been nice changes to make but they have all been nothing but positive in the long run. A few years ago I cut off a very close friend of mine, we are better now but at the time it was the best thing I could have possibly done even though it didn’t seem it at the time, it took me an extremely long time to come to terms with. I have  learnt never regret changes made because a lot of the time those changes needed to be made and without those changes my life would have stayed the same and I would have continued to be miserable. Change is so important because as I’ve said without change everything stays the same and if everything stays the same you can’t move forward with your life. If I had just made some of those decisions sooner things would have been so much different, but the point of this is not to dwell it’s to push you to make those changes that scare you because it may be the best thing you do!

Make the changes you’re scared to make because you never know, those changes may be the ones that put everything into place for you.  You might let go of things you didn’t even think were affecting you. Take the leap and take the path you never saw yourself taking. You should always be your first priority and you should never change yourself or your opinions for the sake of people who aren’t worth it. Don’t ever be afraid to walk away from situations that aren’t right for you, you deserve to be happy so if that certain thing isn’t making you happy then go and find something that does.

 

How I beat writers block

It happens to the best of us, you never know when it’s going to happen but it’s always when you need at least, you know what I’m talking about, right? Yes! The dreaded writer’s block. In my first year of university I suffered from this horrendously when it came to writing my first short stories of the semester, I would have all these inspired ideas but when it came to putting pen to paper I would just go blank. That was until I found a method that helped me with this which is what I’m going to share with you in this post as I thought it could help others.

One of my favourite things about this method is that it works for more than just short stories, it could help you figure out characters and settings for novels, poems and plays. This method is mainly used so that a writer can create a foundation for what they are going to write when they aren’t quite sure yet and it’s from here that you can expand and turn it into whatever you want, you may even end up with something completely different than what you originally wanted to write.

All writers have their own unique way of beating away the writer’s block and this is mine and I call it Story Roulette.  Firstly what you do is create 3 categories which are;

Characters
Emotions
Setting

Secondly you add 6 different characters, 6 different personalities and 6 settings. Finally you then roll a dice or ask someone to pick a number between 1 and 6 whatever the number rolled or chosen is the character, personality and setting for your story. (I suggest you do this twice with characters and emotions so that you can have an antagonist and a protagonist). Then you can create a foundation for your piece from what you are given, now this story may not be your best work and you may edit it a lot as you go but it helps you to get into the mindset of writing and can even prove to be a source of inspiration for your next story.

Here is the list I personally use when using this, I do change it every time I use it but here is my latest one that you could use for a guideline;

Characters;

  1. A runaway girl
  2. A failing business owner
  3. An animal (Any)
  4. Successful CEO with the secret addiction
  5. An everyday boy
  6. A bride on her wedding day 

Emotions;

  1. Regretful
  2. Starstruck
  3. Overjoyed
  4. Content
  5. Depressed
  6. Envious

 

Setting;

  1. A bar
  2. A hotel lift
  3. Their home
  4. Any form of transport
  5. Their place of work
  6. A shop 

If any of you have your own unique way of beating writer’s block I would love to read them in the comments on this post and if anyone uses this for the first time I would love to hear how it worked for you and your feedback or even read what you created from using this method!

My October 2018

The month of October is my favourite for a lot of reasons, the main ones being that it is the spookiest time and the fact that black forest hot chocolates make a comeback (that hot chocolate is possibly one of my favourite things, despite my lactose intolerance saying otherwise). So I thought I would take a look at the last month and talk about what I did and if I learnt anything.

This October I started this blog and it was a long time coming. I kept going on and on about it for months but nothing ever came of it for a million different reasons, the main one being that I completely lacked confidence in my writing. I have to say this blog  is the exact opposite of what I had imagined, for example I wanted an Insta-blog filled with pictures of books and professional reviews, I never thought I would have a WordPress blog where I just talk about me and my unedited feelings and I am so much happier with how that has turned out. The reason I changed my mind was that I realized my heart wouldn’t be in what I was writing, it would have felt like an assignment, something I had to do instead of something I was truly passionate about that had my full attention and feelings invested into it. I have my heart set on this blog and making something of it, even if only 3 people read it I really hope those 3 people enjoy what I write and believe in me as much as I believe in myself.

In addition to the blog writing I was also offered an opportunity to write an article for my university which they published, article writing is another writing medium that I hadn’t ever explored or even thought about and again I am so glad i took the chance and did it because it has given me so much more confidence in my writing ability. So the main theme for my month for taking the leap and exploring new opportunities that are coming my way instead of shying away from them due to my own self doubt, so I have promised myself that every time I doubt myself to look back at this month and remember that I can always do it, even if it doesn’t work out I can still try and learn lessons from it.

I wrapped up the month by spending Halloween dancing and drinking with my best friends, I don’t think I’ve drank that much vodka in years but honestly the nights that you can barely remember make for some of the best memories. It’s the second year in a row I’ve been dancing to thriller at 3am and I honestly wouldn’t change it for the world! I’ve already started planning my costume for next year and it’s less basic than being a black cat and a devil! So here’s to another amazing month, I can’t wait to see what November brings.

 

My favourite books

I have been reading non-stop ever since I’ve had the ability to do so, I absolutely adore that feeling of getting lost in a book to the point where putting it down felt like leaving a movie halfway through and missing the best parts. So I thought I would share some of my favourites with you.

Over the years I have read so many different books with different genres, when I was in primary school I read every single Jacqueline Wilson book I could, including her autobiography. I would read them in a few hours and then spend the rest of the day telling my poor dad in painstaking detail about the plot, the characters and every single detail of the book. The Hetty Feather series was by far my favourite, I reread those books more times than I can count, I took them everywhere with me and told my whole family about them as they sat and nodded along politely. I spent my whole childhood with my head in a book and used to love doing reading comprehension at school because of this and would be proud as punch every time I went up a reading level or my reading age went up.

Through my teen years, I have read many different books but I mainly found myself reading contemporary poetry, such as;

1.Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

2.The sun and her flowers by Rupi Kaur

3.What I’ve been feeling lately by Alicia Cook

4.The Chaos of longing by K.Y Robinson

All of these books spoke to me in very different ways and I adored them all, they helped me realise what I was feeling was normal and ok sometimes and when I’m going through rough times I think about many poems from these books. I cannot recommend them enough so if you have the chance to read them please do. You will not regret it.

I have found my favourite book of all time and it is without a doubt ‘Watching Edie’ by Camilla Way. I picked up this book after seeing it in Waterstones and thinking “oh this sounds decent” and I cannot tell you how quickly I fell in love with this book. I do not have a bad word to say about it, it’s the best journey I have been on. When reading this book you spend the whole time switching your loyalty between the two main protagonists wondering what’s going to happen next and if you will ever find out what happened “that day”. As soon as I finished this book I told everyone I knew to go out and buy it as it was the best book I had read in a very long time, I have also read the rest of Camilla’s books and in my opinion they all hold up to the same standard of Watching Edie. Watching Edie also came a source of inspiration in my own writing as I loved seeing the different perspective’s of the characters throughout the story as it added to the conflict of who the real victim was.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post and it gives you some inspiration for your next read!

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