My January!

th (3)

The first month of 2019 is coming to a close and I wanted to reflect on the start of the new year and compare it to some of my previous January’s and see how far I have come. I also wanted to do this as this is the first time I have stuck to my guns on my new year’s resolutions and I’m incredibly proud of what I have achieved so far.

January marks my blog’s 3 month anniversary, since starting the new year I have noticed such an increase in my readers feedback and even gained over 10 new followers (Hello and welcome), this has made me so incredibly happy. I have never been so proud of anything I have started and you guys really make it feel worth it and are giving me all the confidence in the world to carry on what I am doing! This is something I have loved doing since I first started it so thank you for reading and commenting. When I started this blog I really didn’t think anyone would read it or even care about what I have to talk about so thank you again for reading. I love talking to you guys and hearing what you have to say!

Something I am most proud of this year is that I FINALLY did sign up for the gym and go on a diet! Well not so much diet as I am just eating a bit healthier and still treating myself a lot, but all that aside, this has been a really positive change in my life, a change I have been wanting to make for years but never had the confidence to do it because the thought of people seeing me exercise really terrified me. I was dreading the gym as I haven’t done any form of exercise since year 9 PE and I love cheesy chips more than I may love my first born but so far I have stuck to it and I am already starting to see the benefits! I still don’t have a real gym schedule and routine yet but it is something that I am working on getting sorted in the next few weeks. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas for creating a gym schedule I would love to read them and try them out!  I am thinking of writing a blog post on my progress in another month or two so please let me know if that’s something you would like to read about.

This month, for the most part, has just been very relaxing, I handed in all my university assignments and for once don’t feel like I’m drowning, this year I feel confident in what I’m writing and can really see myself getting my degree one day, I have even gone back to thinking about getting my masters one day which is something I was beginning to give up on due to a lack of self-confidence. It has also been spent planning holidays with my best friend and making plans for the best year of our lives! (other the fact that I turn 20 in July and I don’t know who allowed me to be an adult all of a sudden). My friends and I didn’t participate in dry January but we had the best time just sat around talking about everything and nothing together.

Now I know none of this sounds very exciting but this time two years ago I started the new year getting drunk alone in my bedroom, crying over a boy who didn’t even deserve me or my tears (don’t ever do that, it’s a waste of precious energy that could be used for literally anything else.) and on the verge of being kicked out of college. I was on this path of self-destruction with others who were on the same path as me. This time last year I was so badly riddled with anxiety that I was sick every time I left the house, I was failing university and in counselling after antidepressants didn’t work for me, so despite this January may not have been filled with huge adventures but it has been filled with positivity and self-improvement which is something that I could have only wished for in the past. I still have my moments of self-doubt especially with the gym but I am continuing to stay positive and not give up because I have already come such a long way in such a short time.  I just hope the rest of my year continues on this path!

How’s the first month of 2019 been for you guys? Would love to hear how you’ve spent the past month, thank you for reading!

 

My Top 3 Netflix Series

Just a quick note before I get into the posts; I am going to start posting once every 2 weeks as I feel like this is more realistic for me, so I promise my posting will be 100% more consistent from here on out. Thank you all for reading and commenting on my posts it really makes me feel like I am finding my feet with this and interacting with my readers is an amazing feeling so thank you all again!

Also The artist I Doodle Moole who i mentioned in my last blog post has made my new profile picture so again please so check her out and give her all the love and support in the world! Her handles are;
Twitter: @Doodle_moole
Tumblr; doodlemoole

th (2)

I am no stranger to binge-watching TV/Netflix series as much as I can, I am very much one of those people who will immediately find a new series to start as soon as my other one ends so that my life continues to have meaning and I have more reasons to procrastinate, so I thought I would share my top 3 series with you all. Please let me know what your favourites are in the comments or if you watch any of the same ones I do.

 

  1. Call the Midwife; So if you aren’t from the UK you may have not have heard of this show. It is a period drama set in a post-war London in the 1950’s/1960’s. It is based on the memoirs of real east end midwife Jenny Worth and recounts the many births she saw in her time. The show deals with very difficult storylines such as girls being forced to get backstreet abortions due to the laws, the rampant racism people of the time faced and even talking about those affected by the morning sickness pill known as Thalidomide. BUT it also deals with things such as the contraceptive pill being invented meaning women could take pregnancy into their own hands, Vaccines being created for measles and you also get to see 1000’s of healthy babies being born throughout the many series. Now I know what you are thinking, why do you love this show so much? Well, I love babies. I am the broodiest 19-year-old girl you will ever meet but I also love seeing what life used to be like and how we have evolved as a society over the years, seeing how much tolerance has grown and how much medicine has advanced. So if you enjoy a good period drama this one is definitely for you and is available on Netflix UK.
  2. Grey’s Anatomy; So it was my sister that got me into this A M A Z I N G show. I saw a few episodes as she watched and started getting emotionally invested so I thought I would give it a chance and I am SO happy I did. Grey’s Anatomy is a hospital drama and follows the different lives of the doctors and surgeons working at Seattle Grace Mercy West. The show is currently on its 15th Season and I hope it continues forever because I have no idea what to do if it was to end. Some reasons that this show is one of my favourites is because it so well is written, it has some amazing quotes and can teach the audience some life lessons as they watch. I have never been more emotionally invested in a set of fictional characters as I am to the doctors on this show you really feel like you have gone on this journey with them and find yourself laughing and crying with them along the way.
  3. Haunting of Hill House; If you have not seen this terrifying Netflix original what are you waiting for?! I am a horror lover so when I heard about this series I knew I just had to give it a go and honestly I am going to re-watch it when I finish writing this post! This series took the internet by storm as it followed the Crain family and their journey of living in Hill House and how it affected them in later lives. Its told using a mix of flashbacks and present day which is done so seamlessly that you will never get confused which some series tend to do. This series keeps you on your toes all the way through with its amazing use of background characters and sets, it also uses tasteful jump scares that are well thought out and aren’t constantly used so that the audience feel uneasy and can’t pay attention to what’s happening. I really cannot talk about this show more highly than I do to everyone I know.

Some honourable mentions would be;
The Good Place and Shameless (US) (Yes I am aware that as a British person this is blasphemy of the highest calibre). These two shows are absolutely amazing and are both available to watch on Netflix but they did not make it into my top 3 but this may change as more season become available!

Thank you for reading and please let me know in the comments if you agree with my choices and let me know what your top 3 are and I may check a few out and tell you if I get as invested as you!

 

Supporting Local Artists

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! as always I hope 2019 is your best year yet!

I was thinking about when I started this blog and how I have started from nothing and how hard i’m going to have to work for this and it dawned on me, I don’t think enough people don’t realise how difficult it is working or trying to work within the creative industry, you are literally putting your work into the world and praying that people like it, you write, draw and play these things with all of your heart and you just have to cross your fingers and hope you make it. I live by the mentality that even if only my best friend and my dad buy my book that’s two copies sold, or even if only 10 stranger’s buy it that’s 10 stranger’s that believed in me enough to give me a chance and that’s a huge reason you should support local artists in your area because we all have to start somewhere and the smallest audience is still a huge help.

This is one of the reasons that you should support local artists, whether that be your friendly neighbourhood band, artist or writer. Everyone has to start somewhere, so that’s what we do, we work our way up but we cannot do this without support so I’m going to tell you about two local artists in my area that I feel deserve more recognition than they are receiving!

Gentleman’s Brawl is a Leed’s based pop-punk band and who doesn’t love a bit of pop punk? The band is made up of 5 Leeds locals, they recently released their first music video on December 29th and are having their EP launch at the Fenton pub in Leeds on March 9th. I want to talk about this band because I know what you are thinking, all pop-punk sounds the same, that whining about how they want to leave their hometown, well in my opinion Gentleman’s Brawl are more than just revived and recycled pop-punk from the early 2000s, they have their own unique sound that is clear to anybody listening, they are also incredibly dedicated to what they do and how they do it. Their music makes me feel nostalgic as i spent my early teen years doing nothing but listening to pop-punk anthems in my bedroom whilst making sure my eyeliner was as big as possible, their lyrics are unbelievably catchy to the point I sing then whilst I’m at work, they are also unique as they don’t follow all of the stereotypical tropes of a pop-punk song and this is also due to the fact they have range in their songs, for example, Princess Complex (my personal favourite) shows an angry side to them but These Four Walls show them for exactly who they are and their music video reflects this entirely. I can’t wait to see what else they are going to bring to 2019.

Go follow them on Instagram and Facebook and show them all the love!

Insta- @gentlemansbrawluk

Facebook- Gentleman’s Brawl

47574765_727858000915562_7080634697084043264_n

The second and final artist I want to talk about is a female artist who goes by Doodle Moole, she is a 19-year-old artist from Wakefield. Molly varies in her art style going from watercolour, realism and surrealism. I wanted to talk about Molly because she has recently put her work online and I feel that more people need to see her talent! She has recently been accepted into University to study Comic and Concept art to further expand her talent, but mainly she joined the course as it’s something she is so passionate about as she herself one day would like to be a comic book artist, so she is out there chasing her dream which is beyond empowering as she is showing how important this is to her and what she is willing to do to get it! Molly’s work really is truly unique to her as a person and I love that she doesn’t just stick to one style and shows off what she can do in different areas, going out of her comfort zone which is something a lot of artists find difficult as many of us like to stick to our niche’s and not stray away so for her to do this is something that I really admire. Her art never fails to draw my attention and make me think “how can people do that?!” Again I cannot wait to see what this amazing artist has to bring in 2019!

Go check her out at;

Twitter; @MooleDoodle

Tumblr; doodlemoole

And again go and show her all of the love!

These are my two favourite local artists so please go and check them out as they deserve it so much!

 

Winter blues

So winter is here and so are the winter blues, I suffer from this really badly sometimes as do a lot of people so I thought I would share with you how I cope and handle those days when you just don’t feel like doing anything.

  1. Get dressed. I know it sounds dumb but you got dressed, you aren’t sat in the same PJs you’ve been wearing for a week straight.
  2. Recognise your achievements. Today I told someone I did nothing but then I realised that I went shopping, read a book and wrote 2 blog posts so I did do stuff, it may not have been a lot of stuff but I still did it and I am proud that I did.
  3. Make sure you are practising basic hygiene. Again sounds obvious but it’s really easy to miss out so make sure you wash off last night’s makeup, use a nice lil face mask and wash your hair. You will feel so much better.
  4. Organise what you need for the next day, you will feel so much better the next day when you aren’t rushing around.
  5. E A T. and I mean a meal with substance, not a snack. It will give you the energy you need, a car needs petrol to function and you need food to function.
  6. Go outside. Even if it’s just to the local shop, the daylight hours are getting shorter and many doctors say this contributes to SAD (seasonal affective depression) so go outside and get some of that sweet sweet vit D whilst it lasts.

Sometimes you don’t even realise that you are feeling this low until it’s pointed out to you, I had no idea how bad I was until a therapist at my university said: “what you are describing is depression.” I really just thought I was a bit overstressed and it was getting to me.
If you are feeling this way please know that it won’t last forever, it’s ok to feel to not be ok all the time. Nobody feels 100% happy all day every day and sometimes you just have to spend a day crying it out. You are loved. Reach out to people and tell them how you are feeling because they will help, you can’t always do it on your own and again that’s fine. The winter blues have been kicking my arse the last few weeks but I have made sure to tell the people close to me so that they are aware of what’s going on, this is one of the best things you can do because then you have a support system and those people can help you get through the rabbit hole and come out the other side! You are not a burden to anyone and you are so so loved. Always remember that you are not alone.

This will be my last post until the new year so have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. I hope 2019 becomes the best year of your life!

A sucky love story; A review

Yesterday I purchased, read and finished Brittani Louise Taylor’s book; ‘A sucky love story’ I laughed, I cried and fell in love with it so much that I feel like I have to talk about it to you guys. I’m not going to go into the details of the book as it’s something you need to see for yourself.

This book is a story of overcoming and leaving an abusive situation when I first heard her announce the release of the book I never ever thought it would be what it is, it’s a story of lies and deceit so deep that it sounds like something from a movie, something that doesn’t happen to people in real life but Brittani shows us that it does. I also never thought I would laugh but Brittani has the mindset of why cry when you can laugh which is a mindset that I also share because it’s true, why sit and cry when you can laugh it off? I know what you’re thinking “how do you find light in something so awful?” but sometimes that’s how you have to cope.

Brittani shows that anyone can fall for an abuser, she also shows us that love makes you blind and stupid BUT she also shows that you can come out the other side stronger and smarter, that these things do not define the rest of your life. This book is so important because it shows that you can survive these situations, that it can happen to anyone and it can even show people warning signs to look out for, people may read this book and think “this is what I’m going through” and it may give them the courage to leave. I urge everyone to go and read Brittani’s story and spread it as far as they can, her story deserves to be heard. What I love most about Brittani is her never-ending optimism, she still believes in love and that there’s still good in people which takes true strength, she kept going and survived and it truly is an inspiring read so please go take a few hours out of your day to go and read it. Another thing I find really important about this story is that it shoes that abuse isn’t always physical sometimes its verbal, finacial or emotional but doesn’t make the abuse any less valid and I feel like that’s something that isn’t spoken about enough.

a-sucky-love-story-9781642930009_hrIf you or anyone you know is going through ANYTHING like this please leave. Please tell everyone you know what is happening and go and find help, you have so much more support than you realise. You are loved. You are important. Please tell somebody.

 

5 things I learnt in 2018

2018 has been brutal.
Absolutely brutal.
I have learnt so many lessons this year, lessons about myself, who I am and what I deserve and I am taking all of those lessons with me into the new year.
Here are 5 lessons I have learnt in 2018;

  1. Nothing changes if you don’t do anything. “Just because you find that life’s not fair it Doesn’t mean that you just have to grin and bear it. If you always take it on the chin and wear it nothing will change!” – Matilda the musical. This year I sat and looked at my life and wondered why nothing was getting better until I realised that I wasn’t doing anything to change what was happening. So in 2019 I am going to start making those changes instead of just waiting for a miracle.
  2. People change and sometimes they don’t but that’s not up to me. Sometimes when people change it’s for the better and you can see the positivity of their new self flowing and it’s inspiring to see but sometimes people don’t change, even if you really hoped things would be different. I have learnt that I cannot make that change for them. Everyone is different and you can’t decide what a person needs for them, they have to figure it out on their own.
  3. To do what I want without needing validation. This is something I am still working on, I am terrible at making decisions that aren’t backed up by 20 different people but I have gotten better so I will take this into the new year with me, I will do the things that make ME happy without worrying what others will think and I will stop not doing things because I know someone else won’t like it. (basically to not be a complete people pleaser all the time).
  4. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you aren’t ok. This year I suffered from anxiety which I came to terms with quite quickly because it was quite obvious to myself and everyone around me but I really struggled admitting that I was depressed and i’m still not entirely sure why. I didn’t want to go and talk about my depression, I was just anxious but after going to counselling I realised that sometimes you just have to admit that you aren’t coping as well as you thought you were and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  5. Your support system is the most important thing. I have the greatest support system in the world, my siblings, dad and friends are the biggest reason that I got through this year. I have made some mistakes this year, really stupid mistakes, I did things that looking back I should have known better, but never once did they leave. They picked me up and dusted me off everytime i fell. Make sure you have people in your life who care about you, who will accept the fact you wont take all of their advice but will still help you pick up the pieces after. Thank you to everyone who helped me this year. You saved me, I promise to start actually taking your advice! Thank you to my best friend Molly who has stood by me throughout this entire shitshow.

These are 5 things that i have learnt this year and that I will be taking into 2019 with me because they are so important and if I ever feel like I can’t do it, I will come and look at this post to remind myself what matters. I hope 2019 is your year and that you accomplish everything you didn’t manage to this year. Make 2019 a year to remember.

Why change is so important to me

I am a big believer that any change in life, no matter how small can make you feel completely differently about a situation. Change can even provide a new perspective on a situation, it can make you look at it from an outside perspective instead of living within the issue constantly, it gives you a chance to stand back and look at the bigger picture.

Every time a significant event happens in my life I change something about myself, whether it be changing my room around, dying my hair for the millionth time or getting a new tattoo or piercing I make sure I change something to mark the event so that I don’t forget it. These changes serve as a constant reminder of what I have overcome or achieved in my life. When I got into university I got a tattoo of a pinky promise, now that tattoo is not the best (don’t book a tattoo on the spot kids, wait a bit) but every time I look at it I remember how excited I was when I got that confirmation email. Now, not all the changes in my life have been nice changes to make but they have all been nothing but positive in the long run. A few years ago I cut off a very close friend of mine, we are better now but at the time it was the best thing I could have possibly done even though it didn’t seem it at the time, it took me an extremely long time to come to terms with. I have  learnt never regret changes made because a lot of the time those changes needed to be made and without those changes my life would have stayed the same and I would have continued to be miserable. Change is so important because as I’ve said without change everything stays the same and if everything stays the same you can’t move forward with your life. If I had just made some of those decisions sooner things would have been so much different, but the point of this is not to dwell it’s to push you to make those changes that scare you because it may be the best thing you do!

Make the changes you’re scared to make because you never know, those changes may be the ones that put everything into place for you.  You might let go of things you didn’t even think were affecting you. Take the leap and take the path you never saw yourself taking. You should always be your first priority and you should never change yourself or your opinions for the sake of people who aren’t worth it. Don’t ever be afraid to walk away from situations that aren’t right for you, you deserve to be happy so if that certain thing isn’t making you happy then go and find something that does.